You would think this whole brain surgery thing would get less complex the more times you do it, but not necessarily. I met with my doctors on Monday afternoon and we decided that I would have surgery next Friday morning, July 6. The surgery will be for removal and exploration.
Thursday, July 5, I will have an MRI in the AM where they will position little sticky markers around my head to serve as guides for the surgery. I'll spend the rest of that day like a Catholic on Ash Wednesday - walking around with brain surgery stickers instead of Palm frond ashes. After that point no more showering for a few days, probably 3 or 4 or 5. At least through the weekend. Once I get home I'll have awhile where I need to sleep upright and I won't be able to lift anything heavy.
When it comes to the brain a simple biopsy is not possible. There's a cyst in the footprint of my prior surgery. The cyst has two indeterminate spots on it. The spots may be new tumor growth but they may also be dead tumor cells from radiation. The only way to know for sure is to take it out and look at it. The only way to take it out and look at it is to have a brain surgery.
But the passage leading to the spot should be a little less complicated to travel than previously. I guess that sometimes "the road less traveled" is not preferable. And yet, as previously mentioned, the lead up to brain surgery is still relatively complicated. Then again, it is brain surgery, so maybe that is how it should be? Maybe it should be given adequate preparation time. Time to contact others and make some plans and otherwise do more prep work. I even got my hair cut (the medical personnel didn't necessarily want me to, but the prospect of not washing my hair for awhile made long hair seem much less desirable). Another benefit of the longer time before the surgery is there is less concern if there happened to be some accident or something haircutting, but there wasn't - so it's a moot point.
Now that much of the more complex issues are dealt with, we are free to "relax" (as much as possible) and go about our "normal" business over the upcoming weekend and the holiday.
In the past my vision and coordination have been impacted by surgeries. That will likely be the case again. Time to bust out the old shower stool and walking stick and clear-lens-taped glasses! I've gotten plenty of use out of all my brain tumor utensils (one might contend, and I am "one," a little too much use). But given that I don't necessarily have a choice - because I don't (well maybe there are choices with how to deal but not the growth's existence itself) - as sage minds often refrain, "it is what it is." And what it "is" is that I happen to have some tools that can be useful after brain surgery. So useful, in fact, that I foresee a use.
Of course what I foresee won't necessarily be the case. That's a giant aspect of the entire experience, the lack of control. Accepting that one can only influence so much. Then trying to determine what is influenceable. But otherwise accepting that "it is what it is." And whatever pathology returns on what's removed in the surgery is something else out of my control. It too, is what it is.